enrollment for the gathering closes in

Hi, hunny. I just learned a new word: permacrisis.

The world’s overlapping crises are officially SO unrelenting and enormous and shitshow-y that we had to make a new word to explain them.

Which may explain why you feel triggered by the word ‘supply chain.’ 😉

Add to our collective burnout the years (plural, YEARS!) of pandemic.

 
The increasingly Tik-Tok-y nature of human interaction: be fast and entertaining! YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO IMPRESS THE JUDGES!
 
The war in Ukraine.
The specter of nuclear war threatening every being on the planet.
Putin. Plastics. White supremacy.
Global warming. Inflation. The 1%.
That social media challenge encouraging peeps to eat CORN with a DRILL.  (Teeth lost! That’s shocking!)
All this grief with nowhere to go.
 
We might quietly hyperventilate on the way to work, but society tells us we MUST. KEEP. SWIMMING.

It’s enough to make you want to curl up on the couch and binge-watch ANYTHING AT ALL for the next few years. (Which explains why I watched all the seasons of Love is Blind last week…)

Since we've left The Before and entered The Permacrisis, maybe we should be doing... everything differently.

The deeply-conditioned JUST KEEP SWIMMING AND PUSHING IT’S FINE patterns of female existence are crushing us.

I know all about The Crushing because I work on the front lines of women’s interiors as a business coach and breathworker.  Vulnerability is my currency.

These 3 truths come up continuously when women lean forward and say, “I’ve never told anyone this before…”

💥 We are universally starved for deep connection.

💥 We are the kind of tired that can be expressed only in wordlessness: an aching, a hunch of the shoulders, a twitch of the eye at the word ‘unprecedented.’

💥 We are dangerously close to numbing, muting, and martyring ourselves right out of existence.

I can’t stand by and watch the light go out of women’s eyes, which is why you’re here, reading these words at this moment. 

The Gathering is a returning
to the self
and one another,
both at once.

Think of it as a space dedicated to keeping our soul lanterns lit.

The Gathering is a space to feel our feelings, use our voices, and expand our power so that we don't numb, mute, or martyr ourselves right out of existence.

We’re doing that work within community so that we stop pretending it’s possible to thrive in The Permacrisis all by ourselves.

To (mix metaphors and) describe it another way: The Gathering is an energetic life boat in which we tend to ourselves and one another deeply for three months. You will be seen, heard, and felt just as you are, with no need to make excuses for any part of your existence.

This is less online class and more shared experience, as participation is THE WHOLE POINT.   It’s a returning to your heart, your gifts, and each other in real time. Joyfully, despite The Permadumpsterfire status of 2022.

It is every bit of emotional and energetic medicine I can muster after teaching and coaching in real life and online spaces for the past 18 years, placed in service of keeping our souls alive.

We're co-creating honest and joyful places to be seen, heard, and felt -- because they are hard to find outside of your therapist's office.

Particularly ONLINE.

12 weeks. 24 women. 1 wondrous ride.

We begin with nourishment.

Each of our weekly salons
includes space to feel your feelings, use your voice, and expand your power — because these are the antidotes to numbing, muting, and martyring yourself.  (Think of each one as pop-up sacred space.)

You’ll get MUCH better at receiving, asking for help, finding and feeling worthy of your desires, undoing good girl conditioning, and releasing the bullshit that no longer serves your life. 

Keep showing up and you’ll experience less unpaid labor, ignoring of your needs, putting everyone else first, and staying quiet when you’d rather speak up.  

…which means you’ll get to experience more free time, human connection, desire, support, and joy instead! 

ALSO YOU’LL HAVE TIME TO BINGE-WATCH LOVE IS BLIND! 😉

🚨we interrupt this message...

An intervention from Aaron Neville Longbottom, a.k.a. Bubs

I had to step in because Mom is being too serious — I mean, MENTIONING PUTIN AND PLASTICS ON A SALES PAGE COME ON! 

Enjoy my cute face and bubble-popping skills, then proceed.  And be warned: if we ever meet in person, I will love you. Resistance is futile.

Next, we add support.

Here’s where the average ‘we have a giant Facebook group’ definition of ‘community’ gets blown out of the water: mistress groups.

These live weekly hour-long meetups with the same tiny group of (about 6) women will surprise you in the best way possible. 

Each weekly meeting ensures that you’ll be seen, heard, and felt in real time — without any criticism, coaching, or judgement. 

The shifts I’ve personally made within these groups are PROFOUND, and I expect nothing less will come of your experience! 

WAIT, WHY IS IT CALLED A MISTRESS GROUP? 

We’re using Kasia Urbaniak’s Unbound as our foundational text, and that’s the name she uses.


👆🏻This photo of a group hug isn't some stock image, it's from one of my workshops in The Before. I want The Gathering to feel JUST like it.

MORE DETAILS, WOMAN, GIVE ME MORE DETAILS

It’s impossible to break years-long pandemic patterns and connect with new humans without a clear commitment, which is why I want to be up front about what’s being asked of you.

The Gathering provides 20 hours of LIVE magic-making for you to enjoy over the course of three months.

🌈 You’ll have a clearly structured, formal container of deep support to nurture you, starting with The Opening Ceremony.

🌈 Our six weekly salons will provide a space to rumble with the pervasive patterns that plague nearly every woman alive. We’ll combat them with a combination of exercises from Kasia Urbaniak’s Unbound, group and partnered discussion, breathwork, and laughter.

🌈 Your six weekly mistress groups will provide you with feelings of connection and support that are simply exquisite.

🌈 After two weeks to process and reflect on all that you’ve experienced, we’ll hold the Closing Ceremony to celebrate: we GATHERED INSTEAD OF DOOMSCROLLING, WE ARE (BASICALLY) CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!

OOH AND OF COURSE THERE’S A BOOK TO READ!

We’ll be using Kasia Urbaniak’s Unbound as our course reading material!  Think: former dominatrix and Taoist nun writes a book about POWER.  (YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT’S AWESOME)

You’ll have two weeks after our opening ceremony to dive into this book, which is shipped to you upon signup.

CONFESSION: I thought a mistress group would be sort of lame — until I participated in one! There’s a sacred quality to being witnessed and held, no matter what’s going on, that you’ll get to experience each week.

Dates and times, Kalp. I need dates and times!

Everything but mistress group meetings will be recorded and delivered to your inbox!

Attendance at all 6 mistress group meetings is expected.  Mistress group meeting times will be determined based on availability for maximum convenience. 

okay but...

How do I know this will help?

Right now, you're:

Join The Gathering, and you're:

Choose your payment plan -- your cost is 499 either way

Let's do this!

5 monthly payments of

99.90

3 monthly payments of

166.33

Here's what others have to say about this work:

laura-harris

The continued support of the mistresses provided a safe, strong and loving place for me to heal. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve gotten through some of the hardest parts of my life without them.

— Laura Harris

briana-tozour-hkkQbPa49UA-unsplash

I was unmoored, and in mourning. I was at the tail end of a relationship that gave me such mixed feelings (but all BIG), after nearly 2 years of major upheaval. I felt like I didn’t have a place to reliably share those things…

And then enter you, and the Mistresses.

Enter a group of humans who held so much space for me that I actually learned to be comfortable taking it up.

— Kerrilee Hunter

priscilla-du-preez-nF8xhLMmg0c-unsplash
I treasure this group so much. For me, I’m getting better at articulating what I’m feeling and needing, and asking for what I want in my life because of the space. And I just cherish these women and celebrate the magnificent growth they’ve all experienced in such a short amount of time.
 
— Kelsi Gard

Please don't let yourself fade or withdraw any further. Let's find the dying embers within you and ever so gently bring them roaring back to life.


I know you're busy (doomscrolling), but...

What if you replaced social media with live human interaction? 

What if you gave up on Insta and allowed your interiors to speak for a few months?

What if you could join up with other women to create a community dedicated to weathering The Permacrisis together?

What if you could feel FAR less alone, even if you/we have to return to lockdown?

The Gathering is a space to feel our feelings, use our voices, and expand our power so that we don’t numb, mute, or martyr ourselves right out of existence.

If having space to to be witnessed, seen, heard, and felt is a thing you need, The Gathering will provide it. 

24 spaces are available.

Choose your payment plan -- your cost is $499 either way

Let's do this!

5 monthly payments of

$99.90

3 monthly payments of

$166.33

Join by May 6th to nab these bonuses!


Numb-Be-Gone

($69 VALUE)

These 3 breathwork classes will help you stop numbing and start feeling — at your own pace, starting whenever you’d like.

Breathwork for Receiving, Breathwork for Overachievers, and Breathwork for Boundaries are included.


All the Selves I Used to Be

($19.69 VALUE)

When I’ve gone numb or quieted myself for far too long, it is always (always ALWAYS) poetry that helps bring me back to myself.  Your digital copy of this poetry book will help you reclaim bits of yourself you don’t even know you’ve lost.

enrollment for the gathering closes in

FAQs:

We begin on May 13th with our Opening Ceremony and close on July 29th, with 6 salons and 6 mistress group meetups in between.

Download the calendar for dates at a glance.

Because this is an intimate experience requiring a great deal of energy to form and facilitate, no refunds will be given. 

Should you be unable to participate, let me know as soon as possible and we’ll figure out whether a coaching credit or class/workshop credit will serve you best.

Each salon features activities to stop numbing, muting, and martrying patterns dead in their tracks.

We’ll use a combination of lecture, discussion, written exercises, partnered/small group sharing, and breathwork each time!

At the moment, it’s not.  😘

Human to human, heart to heart:

If not this offering, please find SOMETHING — some group of humans, some practice, habit, or space — that actively connects you with yourself and others. 
 
The permacrisis is not going away.  That’s hard to face,  but our denial of its existence is quietly killing our souls, minute by doomscrolling minute. 

I love you, wherever you are, just for surviving this crazy world with me.  Thank you for reading.

One last time, with a deep bow from my being to yours: it would be an honor if you’d join me for The Gathering.

Hugs,
K

Have another question? Want to make sure this is right for you?

I’m happy to personally answer any and all questions you’ve got about The Gathering!  Email k@kristenkalp.com or fill out this form and I’ll get back to you when I’m next at my desk.